tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-70017340737255410172024-02-20T06:48:08.105-08:00Over Come LymeKeeping Hope Alive One Day At A TimeAngele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.comBlogger101125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-42728733702531387562019-05-13T19:21:00.002-07:002019-05-13T19:21:59.670-07:00Simple Revelations found in Remission<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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Delicate Beauty </div>
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By Angele Rice</div>
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I have been dealing with tickborne disease in my life for 28 years and I am 41 years old. When I state those facts it seems unbelievable that is my truth. It just doesn't seem possible. But for those of us who were misdiagnosed for very long periods of time this is the case. It does take a while to find some level of remission. And after 17 years misdiagnosis and over 10 years of some level of treatment I am starting to find my footing within my life. I feel like 80% of the time I am the author of my own life and I feel within my own skin. I don't feel like my illness dictates my every move which to be honest is the hardest outcome to accept. I am so used to my health failing at some point. Don't get me wrong I have days I'm exhausted like the next person but I am relearning what "normal" exhaustion feels like versus a flair of some sort from my high histamine or just overdoing it. <br />
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Just like I was not given a book on how to navigate tickborne disease at 13 when I was first infected, there is no real guide to talk about how you feel as you balance out again. Its a different kind of loss, a different kind of realignment, a different kind of identity change and sometimes all the memes or quotes I see don't seem to quite explain this part of recovery. So my only language that seems to show this paradigm change at this point in my journey is photography, poetry and art. Lots of Mary Oliver, Maya Angelou, several blogs, photographs or artistic renderings of trees, and lots of fiddling around with my camera. <br />
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I think the theme that hit me lately was the pictures of my face that I have taken with shadow lines splitting up parts of my face. I have played with this imagery for a long time.<br />
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Sometimes the most challenging part of dealing with any chronic invisible illness or several at once in my case is not feeling like your inward brokeness, your inward battle to get through the day, your inward struggle to hold onto a shred of hope tends to not be visible to others. I've had so many people tell me I have a pretty face. And in my mind, which is where I live, I'm thinking I would give up any of my "pretty looks" for my health in a heart beat. Tickborne disease is decieving. People can look fine but be feel shredded to death on the inside. We have to be careful to not assume but listen. And sometimes that listening is done side by side but in silence. The best moments when I felt like my body was death were when my cats and son cuddle with me and watched movies. Its because even in that moment of silence I was not alone. ALONE IS HELL ON EARTH WHEN YOU ARE SICK. <br />
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I have never expected anyone to know how to take my pain away in a general sense. I just someone to see that I had two people inside of me vying for dominance, sick Angele and healthy Angele, depression and anxiety, happy and sad. To not talk about mental health which in my opinion is intertwined with chronic illness is to not admit that absolutely no one walks into any disease thinking it could last years, cost thousands of dollars, cause a loss of friendships, jobs, stability, family and even a loss of the things that make us the happiest and give us even a moments peace. No one would choose this path. NO ONE. We have to change how we view chronic illness in others and ourselves. Also its not your job to change my view of myself. Its taken medical help, counseling, protocol changes and strategies, opportunities, and life circumstances affecting me overtime for me to start to see myself in a different light. The people in my life that have made me feel loveable in the most unlovable moments were other patients. This is why in my advocacy work when I can tell a patient is connecting with another patients (me) for the first time certain connections start happening that only two patients of the same or similar struggle can understand. It is pure gold when that type of connection happens because you realize you are not alone and you are not the only one struggling in that certain way with those certain symptoms. So if you are a caregiver of a patient please do not take it personal, you are not doing anything wrong. Its just your loved one needs to speak a certain language that only another patient can understand and on top of that they may not realize as a patient that, that is what they are looking for until they find it. We are looking for a sense of community, tribe, and family. Plus added bonus, a patient can tell another patient some hard truths that family or friends on the outside cannot. These kind of connections when healthy, can help propel a patient towards healing. The patient to patient communication can also give precious perspective which when you are seriously sick is badly needed. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My friend Dani took this picture of me photographing</td></tr>
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My current revelation the past month that struck me as I previewed a bunch of my past photos like the ones above is I viewed the lines on my face as showing how broken, fractured, damaged, spent I felt on the inside. At this point I see those lines differently now. I realized I wasn't seeing each line as a root or branch of a tree. That overtime I have grown towards the light, matured, healed, branched out, rooted deeper into my life with a steadier view of who healthy Angele is and who she is becoming. I couldn't see the full glorious person I was becoming. Perspective takes time to develop. And with the help of some amazing Lyme friends and family I am rooted into my role as an advocate, educator, speaker, and social media guru. I could only see myself as someone behind the camera because I was too messy to be seen in the light. That's not what I see now and that's okay. When we have paradigm shifts I think we can feel guilty because why couldn't we come to this conclusion sooner. Why did it take so long to get here. I can only say to you, you can get here, and it will take time, some make sure you bring some good friends along for the ride because you are not the only one tripping over your own feet while walking forward. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.</div>
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Photo Credit: Angele Rice</div>
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Oak Grove Cemetery, Bath, Maine</div>
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-31324768859425900732018-02-25T18:02:00.002-08:002018-02-25T18:02:31.986-08:00Turtle Brain <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Here I am trying to type an email crying, realizing that at 40 I still struggle cognitively after 27 years of dealing with tick borne disease to just accomplish a simple task. I admit I lack the training but it’s beyond that. It’s as if my brain is mud. And every word I try to retrieve sinks back into the abyss. I hate not being able to sound like I have a college degree. I have to type, erase, type, erase, over and over. It’s so belittling, so depressing, so frustrating to have limited expression of so much turmoil. To not know when my brain will work to unexpected blank stares and sighs because nothing “comes to mind”. Some days I just want a moment of normal. I have fought so long, so hard. I think I deserve to have my brain work for once. Why do I have to work 10 times harder then the next person just to complete a simple Facebook message? Why can’t I just speak and share what I already know? No one would want this. It’s feel like I’m degrading myself without wanting to. My hands are tied behind my back but I’m suppose to churn out as much as the next person. Expectations are such cruel things. I expect myself to do way more than I can right now. I am my own worst enemy. I beat myself up for letting me down. It’s so hard to let go of. It’s painful. I don’t enjoy walking up hill pushing a bolder. Lyme Brain/Brain Fog is so much more tormenting than the words describe. It’s my personal hell. It pushes me so far inward that I never want to come out of hiding. I’d rather be silent than have to work so damn hard to communicate. It’s draining work. It takes away all my spoons. I just want some relief! I’ve gotten myself this far. Why can’t I get the rest of my brain to cooperate when I need it most. I think this is why I can’t stand grammar. It’s hard enough to get the words out in the first place let alone trying to edit them into some form of readable or understandable language. I’m sure you will find plenty of writing mistakes in this post. Believe me it’s messiness resembles the state of my brain. My hand writing used to be so horrible. Beyond recognition and after some years of treatment it’s become okay and I can fill in a planner within reason and remember to do it. It’s so true when people say recovering from late stage Lyme disease is like recovering from brain damage. I guess I’m impatient. I want my brain back 110% functioning. But that’s not where I am at currently. And life is going at a blazing speed while my brain is on turtle speed. I know I’m not alone but sheesh can I get a break please! To think I have a 6 year History Degree and nothing I say or write is able to reflect that. I feel like I have a thorn in my side that I want ripped out. I have so much that I want to do and accomplish. I’m sick of fighting through this broken brain to get it done.<br />
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-33970564731124602332017-10-18T19:45:00.001-07:002017-10-18T19:48:37.852-07:00Gold<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">How do you see yourself as complete, whole, worthy, if your body is always broken. I read a quote recently that asked a simple but important question, "Who hurt you so badly that you started hating yourself?" My mind kept churning those words over and over. And I had a simple answer. I've been physically sick since I was very young from allergies, to stomach pains, to high anxiety with depression, nerve pain in my legs, sinus headaches, migraines, high fevers, constant strep, ear infections, and foot pain. Of course I hate myself, this body is a torture chamber. Why would I like this? I am recovering but to strip away the modes I've been in to survive for over 30 years will not happen in a day. I have to give my younger self a voice. I have to be kind and have patience. Most of my self portraits are distorted figures, bent in odd directions, scarred, fractured and dark. If the lens we see ourselves through is flawed for so long, its going to take as much time to fill every tiny crack with gold. The Japanize filled a cracked bowl with gold. What an amazing, spectacular, healing idea. I can't go forward and I can't go backwards. And I'm sick of this grey area I've been living in. Perhaps those new golden moments we experience are the ones that fill in the fragile places within ourselves. Maybe its switching to a new lens to see the hope in the picture. I think this is why I get lost in photography. I see life's truths through a lens. Its my voice and its my therapy. Its my own private safe place. Away from the internal and external chaos. It is peace and quiet. I joke with my family that I like photographing in the local cemetery because the people there are quiet. Total peace is rare for me. And I find it in the lens of my camera. And each special moment I view heals me a little more. Its something I have to teach myself, to let the good things in. To give the good things a chance to be in my space. Over the years so many good things left, people left, family left, connect left. The loss of chronic illness is so profound on so many levels to the point you hate your body and illness for creating such a black hole of pain and loneliness. You hate you for being the sick you and making all the good things go away. It adds to the torment. Its a twisted logic but I know I am not alone in feeling this. I've had so many patients say they feel they are unlovable, ugly, weird, outcast, a social ghost, lyme zombie, etc. We try to joke about it but it only masks the true pain underneath. And trying to build new happier memories that do not include illness or pain during a hurricane is an impossible task. But little moments, second, minutes, those are doable. I could pick up my camera and lean on the window frame inside my house when I could barely stand and see the icicles forming off of our roof. They sparkled in the daylight. I remember loosing myself for a moment, staring at their disco lights they created. So maybe its little moments that fill in the cracks when we feel at our absolute worst. My cats cuddling with me, saves me. I can't tell you how many times their fluffy warm bodies curled up on me has kept me sane. Its the little things that save us. Its the moments of kindness and goodness that fill our cracks to make us whole again. Its a long lengthy process this healing thing. But please know you are not alone on that journey. </span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">You can click on Angeles Wings Photography and view my work.</span></span></td></tr>
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-3391134990750881002017-08-23T21:55:00.000-07:002017-08-23T21:55:27.358-07:00Remission<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I always thought when I started to find remission I would have my life back. I hear other friends say I just want to get back to the way things were before I got sick. Well I can't go back to when I was 8 years old when I first started having nerve pain and tummy troubles. I have to start over from scratch. I also kinda hoped the world would of stopped while I was fighting so that when I was done I could just lift the pause button. Again that's not what happens. So often we have myths that need to be busted about how we view chronic lyme/tick born disease. I am realizing as I head towards full remission that we have several myths we believe about recovery. I am feeling better but I am not fully recovered, 100% all done. I might look great for 5 days then hit a wall of fatigue and pain. This journey isn't done. I do have quality of daily life back which is a miracle considering all my diagnoses, years I've been sick, and all the stress from trying to survive and hold on through all of this. I think the biggest myth I believed in was I would be back in the land of the living fully, easily, without much effort. That's just not the case. I feel like I am waking up from a coma. Everyone around me has moved forward and I am stuck back in time somewhere. Its a bizzare science fiction nightmare. I realize and see the deficiets I am still dealing with as well. I never realized til now how much impact tick born illness has had on my muscles, nerves, brain, to the point I see its like recovering from a brain injury. You can recover to point but you will never be 100%. Some of the most basic daily tasks take extra effort for me to accomplish. I still have to adapt my current ability level with whatever I am trying to do. I am always researching ways to relearn old information, absorb new information, read, become organized, stay focused, etc. I stand in awe at how much this disease has ripped out of me. I feel like I have to now hit the restore button constantly. I still have stretches of time, memories, timeline of my life that is jumbled, lost or foggy. I still rely on my family to tell me what happened at certain events because I just don't remember. I was there but I have no clue sometimes what they are even talking about or it takes forever to jog my memory. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I keep joking that this part was not written in the lyme patient handbook. Remission, recovery, healing was suppose to be the holy grail. You made it to recovery and you had it made. Again more myths that I wish were reality. I think this is part that we need to talk about more. Remission doesn't mean we are all done and go back to way life used to be. I wish that was the case. I will never be the same. This illness has touched too much of my life. I am changed forever. For better or worse this illness have morphed me into something completely, radically different, than I ever imaged. I thought remission was a false hope. It was something only a few people achieved. Now I am here. I know how to deal with being sick but I have no clue how to be a somewhat healthy person. Its a radical concept to me. I can actually read a chapter in a book and remember what I read. Now that's the impossible happening. I couldn't do that for years. Even my actual handwriting is radically different from the beginning of treatment til now. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So now I feel like I am stuck on this island by myself thinking who am I now? what do I do with myself? where are my physical/cognative boundaries? Can I do that? Do I want to do that? I feel like I am living in a sea of questions. For so long I've had so many people tell me who I was according to them while I was super sick. I was lazy, disorganized, messy handwriting, shy, different, strange, talked for too much and too long, etc. When you hear these terms for so long you start to believe this is who you are. When you start to recover you realize that was the sick you, your illness not you. I have told friends its like there has always been two people within me. Sick Angele and Healthy Angele. Sick Angele has been the dominate figure within my world for so long that to kick her off the throne is beyond words. I can't explain how that feels. Its very conflicting. I feel like people want to hear I am so excited and happy to be closer to remission which a part of me is, but I am also at a loss as to what I am left with at the close of this crazy bumpy journey. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Even my son who is now 12 is surprised when I tell him that I am back to school too. I have to find new strategies for Executive Functioning, reading comprehension, calendars, Bullet Journaling, etc. I am relearning certain basic school facts all over again. Its a humbling place to be. I have never had a career in my life. And at almost 40, I see that I need to take classes and learn more for the work that I do now. I am honestly overwhelmed. Its like working double time. I have to relearn old information plus learn new information all at the same time just to keep up with the rest of humanity. I'm used to working 5 times harder to do the basic things most people do. Most people with chronic illness do that everyday. But what frustrates me now, is I "look fine"but I'm still having to work extra just to keep up. This part has not ended for me. Again another myth I had about remission busted. All of this buzzes inside of me everyday. I'm working with a new set of rules and I'm trying to figure them out. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Now I hear this a lot on facebook lyme groups is it recovery, remission, getting better, etc. I find the best way to explain this part of my life is remission. Recovery sounds like I am all done, perfectly fine, and nothing residual is left for me to deal with. Getting Better again sounds like its a journey but the word Better has always made me uncomfortable. I am not Better, I just am. I'm simply on a different part of the path. It has its own set of problems, pros and cons, positives. Remission isn't black and white. Its a messy mix. I still take 9 pills a night folks. I am not "done". We need different language and terminology for this part of the journey. There are no absolutes. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Emotionally one day I am feeling pretty darn good, walking, moving, working, participating in life, enjoying the moment, even dare I say confident at times. But when I am reminded of my chronic illness life I am snapped back to all the baggage that comes with it. Its hard to trust the good days even now. I am still waiting for the other shoe to fall as they say. So how on earth are we suppose to explain this to someone who has never been on this journey? I don't think we can. I do think when we listen to someone else's experience to be open minded. The most valued gift for any lyme patient is a pair of listening ears and a closed mouth. I know I sound blunt but its the truth. The people that I have valued along this journey just listened nothing more. We have to be careful not to impose how we think people should feel or respond to something they are experiencing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Remission is simply a new stop along this journey. I am shocked I am close to 80% remission. I never thought I would get this far after being misdiagnosed 17 years and in treatment over 10 years. Sometimes an open door to possibility is a good thing. It nurtures hope. </span></span><br />
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-44687177137283632852017-06-04T17:32:00.001-07:002017-06-04T17:32:50.957-07:00<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><b><u>"I'm not just working on healing my body. I'm working on healing my confidence. My belief in myself has been torn from me for so long. And now it's slowly returning. This is recovery...this is remission...this is my new frontier and I am meeting it head on."</u></b></p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><b><u>~Angele Rice --6/4/2017--</u></b></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><b><u><br></u></b></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; font-family: Helvetica;"><b><u></u></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><b><u><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgclVXCpUPQ-YOlBVokMWf5Q395gCG0P2nmEq5FQ0eel3rdjOvd-NSwdmnhEne5NTWwWfk7FrbVHsHoM96BzPJixZheXQnBWmF208dek-yH5T9EgN_0sJ8j3zW0E_WDImRInR38J8iwV3LG/s640/blogger-image-104133931.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgclVXCpUPQ-YOlBVokMWf5Q395gCG0P2nmEq5FQ0eel3rdjOvd-NSwdmnhEne5NTWwWfk7FrbVHsHoM96BzPJixZheXQnBWmF208dek-yH5T9EgN_0sJ8j3zW0E_WDImRInR38J8iwV3LG/s640/blogger-image-104133931.jpg"></a></u></b></div><b><u><br></u></b><p></p>Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-4603352073223602362017-02-10T11:32:00.001-08:002017-07-15T15:59:16.238-07:00Hold Fast<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
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Hold Fast</div>
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Stop telling me to hold on, </div>
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I've been doing it for days, </div>
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months, years, lifetimes</div>
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Stop saying it will be okay,</div>
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It's not okay, </div>
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Pain, misery, agony </div>
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are never Okay</div>
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Stop telling me to look for my lesson,</div>
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No lesson should be so harsh,</div>
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My body is abusing me</div>
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And I am done with it</div>
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Stop listening to me,</div>
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Only to reply,</div>
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I am not up for fixing, </div>
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guilting, constraining, </div>
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My body has already tried to put duct tape over my mouth.</div>
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Stop staring at me, </div>
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My pain is visible today</div>
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My body made that choice not me,</div>
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You do not see the full picture of my internal torture,</div>
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Think iceburgs: only a small portion is visible while the rest lays under the surface.</div>
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And if you were pain would you take a shower, get dressed, put on makeup or fix you're hair? </div>
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Hear Me,</div>
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See Me,</div>
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Touch Me, </div>
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with you're humanity, with care, with truth and humility. </div>
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Learn me, notice me, hold me</div>
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My body is my prison.</div>
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And today I'm not okay. </div>
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How I get through my pain is my choice.</div>
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I already know tomorrow maybe better. </div>
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I already know Hold Fast, Hold On, It will get better, </div>
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But right now it's not. I choose to give the pain a voice. So my voice can get stronger. </div>
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My body maybe broken, I may feel absorbed and over taken by pain but believe me I am it's master. How I process through my bad days is my choice not yours. </div>
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-61157972336491434142016-09-11T13:06:00.001-07:002017-07-15T15:50:42.448-07:00Daily Life<div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I have always felt exhausted. The fatigue has always been there for as long as I can remember</td></tr>
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It's hard to explain to someone that after you vacuum, wash and dust floors that you feel so exhausted you feel like you could nap for hours just from doing that short burst of work. Its not something that everybody can understand and relate to. You have to choose between getting something done that's a priority and use up all your spoons or not doing it at all so you can conserve your spoons to do a series of smaller things instead. I don't like having to stare at dirty floors but some days I have no other choice it's either survive my day and have dirty floors or clean my floors and have no energy for anything else the rest the day or even the day after sometimes. So I'm not lazy as it may book to someone else what I have to be selective on what activities I do when how much and with how much energy I'm going to be doing them. No one likes bumping into their limitations. And no one likes overdoing it to the point that they can barely survive for a couple days afterwards either. For me over doing it meant really bad arm muscle joint and nerve pain for a couple of days sometimes upper body muscles are tense up so bad that they would push nerves and make my arms go numb. It would also give me really bad brain fog, headaches, migraines and make me dizzy and just really really badly fatigue. The worst part about it was I would feel so guilty that there was a pile of dishes, and piles of laundry and that it looks like I just didn't care about keeping my house at all when that wasn't really the truth. I felt like my chronic Lyme would miss represent the true character more of my true personality or what I cared about. Because more than likely if I felt better and I wasn't in such bad pain I would at least attempt to try to take care of what I needed to do. These days I can push it more. I can think through organizing an area and I can put together how I want something to look that's on my mind. But before I was way too sick to even get that far. I was simply surviving day to day that was my goal.<br />
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These days I still need to pace myself. I have a new set of limitations that I have to listen to and I still have my bad days they just don't come as often. So just because I'm heading towards remission it doesn't mean that I don't have in the back of my mind that if I overdo it that I could crash really hard. It's a constant struggle between I really want to do something and what will the cost be later and I really want to do something so I'm just going to do it anyway no matter the cost. It's not something that I always talk about but it is an automatic conversation I have in my mind. Should I do this, how will I feel afterwards and is it really worth whatever consequences that could happen. Welcome to the life of a chronic lyme disease patient. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I watched my son play while I had to sit because the fatigue was unrelenting.</td></tr>
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-87586646149137492112016-09-08T17:42:00.001-07:002017-07-15T18:22:34.727-07:00I am not Fine<div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">I'm not fine. I worry everyday that I will be told I'm going through menopause and have cancer. </span></div>
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I'm not fine and give everyone everything. And I left with nothing but feeling drained. I'm not fine I feel numb, lost, exhausted, sad, alone. </div>
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I'm not fine I feel like I have no meaning. And if I was gone no one would notice. Only thing they would miss for a fleeting moment is what I did for them only. But they would never miss me. I'm just used and disposable. Just like a plastic red cup. </div>
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I am not fine the physical pain is always there in some form but it never stops ever. </div>
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I am not fine I don't feel rested, I feel like I'm watching myself trying to live a life but why does it have to be so fucking hard. </div>
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I am not fine I just want to be alone in my dark place. It's the only familiar place I know only too well.</div>
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I am not fine the anxiety, depression, brain fog, muscle spasms, eye fog I hate it. Just because I move everyday doesn't mean I'm fine. </div>
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I am not fine I'm sick of the psoriasis, itchy crawly skin, medical bills, a couple of good days then bad days. Why can't they all be good. </div>
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I am not fine and I'm sick of the everyday fucking struggle to just get up and live. </div>
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I'd rather be fine than chronically sick everyday of the week, year after year. I would trade anything I have to not be her. The one that has to say she's fine but never is. </div>
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If I have to say one more fucking time that I'm fine I will rip out my hair. </div>
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Because I'm not fine.</div>
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I will never be fine. </div>
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And no one including me can change that. </div>
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I am not fine at all. </div>
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Stop telling me, fixing me, giving me band aides, advice, sayings, poor yous, </div>
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Cause guess what, I am not fine!!!</div>
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And there's no pill to fix this.</div>
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I am not fine. I feel like I dying from the inside out on every level. </div>
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Would you be fine with that?</div>
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~Angele Rice </div>
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-16399623594248664202016-02-18T20:18:00.001-08:002017-07-15T18:25:56.507-07:00Inner Escape<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">I think we all get to this concentrated and clogged point where we stop talking and go inward. We escape to the inner self to heal. We run within hoping we can get skip the storm of pain and emptiness. We try to decorate our inner homes with positive memories we hold to, holding them close reminding ourselves good things still happen on the outside just not right now and we hold on some more. We extend hope a few more lengths. The problem becomes when we live in our inner homes to the point we never come out. Where we don't trust outsiders with white coats, or friends who say they care. It's becomes our only world. Our only internal existence. there are many days of pain, depression and anxiety that I endured on a couch or laying on a bed exscaping to my inner world replaying old memories, thoughts, good and bad, replaying songs or old movies. It was bits and pieces jumbled up together. I know this may not make sense to some but I can get lost in my mind for hours or days to escape pain. Especially the deep seeded bone pain, heart wrenching, teeth curling body and joint pain, migraines and knots of muscles and tendons mashed together in a solid mass. It makes sense that anyone would want to find a way out. Anyone would want to find an escape route. Anyone would search for an end. So often we meet people who seem like they are a walking Zombie, not connected or interacting. They may seem aloof, depressed, angry or even mean with scowls on their faces. But what are they escaping? Stress, pain, loss,... We often stay away when someone acts like this not knowing what to do. I have no magic potion or formula. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"> I can just say, Listen. Be around, be available, be open, be kind, and just listen. Because when someone feels you're genuine they will come out of their inner world in time as they see you are trustworthy and reliable. That you are like everyone else who sizes them up in one look or assumes myths. You're just there to listen nothing more and nothing less. I heard a quote say once "are you listening to reply or are you listening to the person". We inner worldly beings know the difference because we people watch for entertainment but also to protect ourselves. We are always on high alert. I can always tell when someone is really listening to me as a person and when they're doing it out of duty or to look good or because that's what you're suppose to do. Just be honest and real. It always shines through. </span></div>
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-78515627500213932862016-02-07T23:25:00.001-08:002017-07-15T18:26:23.810-07:00Remission Where Are You?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Some days it's like I forget that I'm sick and I push and pull to do all the things I feel I should. It's not until the pressure to move is gone and I'm home that I realize how much is on my shoulders daily and how much I have to bear up under. I never thought I would be in a way working part time. Non-profit doesn't mean less work. It's passion that drives you and peoples stories that remind you why you do the work. I just wish my son now 10 could see why I'm on the phone or making graphics. He's so wrapped in how much he can't stand school work. We are a homeschooly, second shift, up late kinda family. We dance outside the box. He cracks me up. Little does he realize that learning is a lifelong process it doesn't keep regular hours. It's a daily, everyday kinda thing. His smarts and passion make me smile. He comments and ask me now how my Lyme friends are doing. Until he's out playing and running around and I have a few minutes to de frazzle I realize that even though he's older and can help I'm doing the pre teenager talks already. He's changing and growing. Some days I just hope to be a decent parent and not mess him up. When I'm sick I'm always apologizing for canceling plans or needing extra rest. I honestly don't have the spoons to live at his speed. I feel guilty at times still. I work hard to get us out the door to see friends, field trips, programs. I just loose steam even after 3-4 decent days I'm back down again needing to be closer to home and rest. My momentum of this body is snails pace. While my mind is running ahead of the rest of me. We do our best to juggle all the pieces and keep everything balanced. But I'm telling you being chronically sick on top of life is like dragging a boulder around and saying you're fine. It's the oddest existence. I don't look sick but some days I feel the weather changing in my bones. Or my legs hurt as I try to fall asleep. I still worry about secondary illnesses that could pop up. Or injury that would set me back. I still can't focus at times, literally loose moments I can't get back or forget a task. It's the nagging, delaying last bit of symptoms that pull at me. I feel like that they keep me back from my full potential and it makes me so angry. Because I can see it but I'm unable to completely find remission. I want to fully move forward and be fully myself. I hate being tripped up by this body. I want to get ahead and stay there and not worry about when I might have my next setback. Survival mode is draining. I want to just live.Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-33116150441820825542016-01-09T12:37:00.001-08:002017-07-15T18:26:58.876-07:00Why am I wearing sunglasses inside?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As a long term, late stage Lyme Disease patient over the past 9 years I have had one constant symptom for most of my life, photosensitivity. It's rare you find me without sunglasses on my face or head. Whether it's rain, snow, sleet, cloudy or sunshine, my sunglasses are on inside my house, stores or outside. I so often see people wondering why the heck I am wearing sunglasses inside a store. People stare, make comments to a friend or give me strange looks. No I'm not trying to look cool or pretend I'm a celebrity. I live in Maine not California. But I'm doing my best to get through a store with fluorescent lighting, noise, crowds, strong smells, and narrow aisles. I'm doing my best to cope with all that input. The sensory overload can be overwhelming, embarrassing and down right frustrating to someone like myself with chronic illness. It feels like a full body assault and I'm doing my best to cope. Sometimes if I can block out the bright lights I can kind of cope a little better with all the other input, remember why the hell in in the store, get my items and hopefully quickly get out of there. I often like to wear my sunglasses with my ear spuds in, listening to calming music. Sometimes I need that combo to help me focus better. I'd rather wear my sunglasses than go home dizzy with a headache, migraine, exhaustion, full body pain, and fog brain. Could you imagine that something as simple as light could tax you're body to the point where either you avoid the stores or go in with anxiety hoping you can handle it and wondering how you will feel after? Invisible chronic illness is unpredictable, flares, and down right limiting. So if you see someone inside a store with a hat, sunglasses, listening to music, unable to process the moment please be extra kind. That person is working extra hard just to do something so basic and so needed. They are using up all their spoons just to get items and go home and be toasted for the rest of the day. A store is dreaded already, the looks by others avoided, anxiety high, a person in this state doesn't needed any added stress. Just kind understanding. So instead of staring or wondering why, just know that person wearing sunglasses inside on a rainy day is doing the best they can, with what they have, where they are. It's an adaptive device helping them cope and survive. </div>
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-76743413878040405852015-10-04T14:08:00.001-07:002017-07-15T18:30:55.515-07:00So Very Brave<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>After 8 years of treatment for Lyme Disease, Bartonella, Babesia, Celiac Disease, MTHFR gene mutation, Multiple Chemical Sensitivity, Chronic Fatigue, and psoriasis, you start to come to a place of conflict. You want to be normal 100% healthy. But you realize after fighting with a broken body for so long that you can only get so far. You get to 70% and say well at least I am this far. I have worked really hard to get this far. My Lyme Disease and Babesia no longer give me symptoms and my Celiac Disease is under control. I still can't have candles in the house or stay in the cleaning section at the store for long. I am always tired. Doesn't matter what I do or don't do. I am tired bottomline. I don't remember a time when I didn't feel tired at this point. I have been in pain or sick since age 8 and now at age 37 this whole broken body thing is a job I work at everyday and do my best to keep under wraps so I can live a life. Or should I say HAVE A LIFE. I can't help but feel I wasted my hopes. I was suppose to be better long ago. And have things happen by now that I always wished would happen like more kids, a career, a savings, etc. I worked so hard to get better for only 70% of a positive result. I can't even begin to explain how heart breaking that is. Not to mention all the dreams I had that are completely gone and wiped from the "possibly" list. I am starting all over again at 37. How the hell do you do that after so much effort was wasted on a still broken body? Who in their right mind would work with 150% effert for a 70% result. No body in their right mind would do that. But that's the truth when you have late stage Lyme Disease. When you catch it too late. It leaves damage that no one can fix. I can't get back the last 8 years of my life. I want a freaking do over some days. I have friends that talk about things they've done with their families, friends and kids in the past 10 years. I have no idea what the hell they are talking about. I've been on survival mode. I wasn't living. I wasn't grounded in life, my skin, my community. How do you explain that to someone? Sorry I can't relate, my life's been dedicated to getting my butt off the couch and praying I would at least make it to the door. The loss of Lyme Disease is a depth of pain most patients can't express in words because its beyond mere words. It permeates at the very depths of our personalities, how to act with others, how we approach the world, how we see ourselves and others, how to sense someones pain before they even mention a word, how we have depths of compassion that some may not even fathom, we've been down roads others would of fallen off by now. Lyme Disease is truly heart breaking and to say its not would be a lie. I have people ask me have I done this or that and all I can say NOPE. Its so awkward. Can you imagine literally not remembering your own personal experiences? And when you do remember something its always centered around how sick you were. Talk about isolating. This is why Lyme Patients understand each other in depths and ways I cannot even explain. I feel like I can rest when I am around my fellow warriors. I hide in plain sight most times with healthy people. I still have a hard time relating to normal people topics of interest or conversation. I can be an advocate at the drop of a hat that's easy. But being a more normal person is just weird. I've been sick so long. I don't know how to act semi-healthy. Its a total mind bender. I still get anxiety around groups of people, traveling, and large events. I haven't been able to practice my normal people skills for 8 years. I am a bit rusty! And when you start to get comfortable with this new skin you are in and realize you can push it a bit, do things you haven't done in a while in the back of your mind your wondering when will I crash next. That feeling never goes away. Its like PTSD for the Lyme Patient. I've heard several other's talk about this. I also never really was healthy before Lyme Disease. I've always had some level of pain and illness. So I've felt that I never really had a chance to do normal people things and get a handle on it. And I'm an introvert. So I trust very few people with my fullest self. I'm always waiting for a friendship to sour or end. I've had too many people stop calling or leave. I have tried to work on this but my health doesn't make it easy. And when you feel sick you don't have any energy to deal with people on any level. You doing everything you can to conserve what energy you have left to survive each day. Chronic Illness/Invisible Illness is complicated and to say you understand would be not even cover what I have been through or what I feel. Probably the most precious people to me just listen and ask questions with no judgement. The listener's of this world, like me, always find a Listener rare. We need more of those people in this world. We forget in the rush of life that we are all messed up and doing our best to get through. Just some of us fight harder in different areas. I have no problem listening to someones story. Its unique to them. And I find their journey has highs and lows that shows their beauty. I think we all feel broken on some level. I guess this advocate just gets tired too. And needs a place to rest. I just wish that all the vision I had for myself in my 20s would come back again. I have no more dreams or wishes or visions. I don't dare. I'm always waiting for Lyme Disease to get in the way. We are daredevils each day. Accomplishing simple tasks with creativity hoping we can pull it off without a big mess in the end. Who would of thought that getting up and getting dressed would be daring. It is when you have no clue how your day with go with an unpredictable illness. Its brave to try to get up and live. So very Brave.</b></span></span></div>
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-64824896934654447742015-04-23T20:34:00.003-07:002017-07-15T18:32:22.111-07:00Starting Over<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Its been a while since I've written a blog post. I guess its because I haven't known how to put into words what its like not being as sick anymore. I still have down days and flare days but I'm able to be apart of life at this point for about 3-4 days then I need to rest. </span>Its like you have to change the way you view yourself all over again. I think I find myself in the middle of a rebirth and I just wasn't sure what to think of it. I don't see myself as a sick person or broken and I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time. I guess I'm finding my stride as a parent, a wife, a daughter, a homeschooler, an advocate, as a photographer. I had an acupuncturist ask me once if I could take all the time I am putting into getting better and put it into anything else what would my life look like. I honestly had no answer to him. I couldn't imagine a day without pain or without feeling so horrid that my hope was drained out of me. I think now I could start to answer his question. I still the fatigue, nerve pain off and on, Celiac for life, skin problems and allergies. But I've found my ways of coping. And my husband and I and son we've found our own unique family groove where up keep of the house, groceries, etc. are tackled together. And if I'm toast they step up and help. My son is old enough for some basic chores and we've found our own groove with homeschooling. If you had asked me two years ago how I was doing I would be angry, screaming in my head, crying and upset and feeling so burnt out. Now I'm embarking on helping to setup a non-profit which blows my mind and I am embracing it. I see myself as an advocate and I am getting a chance to see myself in life and work on liking honestly what I see. It truly is a rebirth. Nothing is perfect and I still have days I want to hide from people and just be in a place that's quiet. My photography is my voice and get away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I am enjoying experimenting with shadow and light and reflections to say what I am thinking. I hope to be able to join an artists collective in the future. For so long I've wanted more than just being the sick person who is a mom. As an individual I have felt like I'm suffocating unable to do somethings that were just me. When I'm flaring and super sick I am unable to communicate or participate in life. I am in survival mode which in my opinion is not living at all. Its like being in a really bad movie that's on pause. You are living minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day. Its radically different to not feel like your stuck in that pattern anymore. Its like Santa dropped by and gave me some extra spoons for christmas lol. I'm a spoonie and I am grateful that I am finding pockets of energy to do the things I love but also things I could only dream of. To see yourself as useful after years of feeling like a couch potato is again radical thinking. Its a paradigm shift. I think the only concern I have now is getting bit by a tick again and becoming reinfected or relapsing to where I used to be only years ago. I still have Bartonella co-infection I'm working on and when I increased my Cat's Claw liquid tincture I am aware that for a few days I need to give myself extra rest as it goes to work. Its odd that I can now set aside time in a sense to be down and out instead of not knowing day to day how horrible I was going to feel. And if I do have a surprise day of feeling crappy I can easily roll with it and find a way to readjust. I have found better and more effective ways to cope with an illness that likes to try and out smart me. And now that my son is older, I can drop him off at his activities like theater and get a few hours break by myself. We also are starting to find some financial freedom. This is the first year I don't feel like we are living paycheck to paycheck which is also radically different and my medical costs out of pocket are less. Now that my son and I are on a similar diet we've also found ways to make bigger batches of gluten and dairy free foods that help stretch our food budget. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I am also finding those friends that know my quirks or when I have brain fog lol, and don't care. I can hang out and not feel a pressure to fit in and look normal. Now I just don't care if I stand out. I am not like everyone else. I will probably have some level of chronic illness the rest of my life. But that's doesn't mean it has to stop me from living my life. I've forgotten my friends name, had to wear sunglasses on a cloudy day in a coffee shop, or asked to meet up at a quiet spot. A true friend rolls with you no matter how weird you are lol. We are all strangely beautiful in our own way. I'm becoming comfortable with this Angele. I kinda like her :)</span><br />
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-89473726265284327642015-02-12T19:29:00.001-08:002015-02-12T19:29:43.121-08:00By Now<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>photograph by Angele Rice at Two Lights State Park Maine</b></td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">By now I was suppose to be a mom of 3 kids,</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">by now I was suppose to be healthy,</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">by now I was suppose to be able to move mountains.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My dark encased eyes,</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">shaking hands,</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">and foggy brained moments</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">are all I have left</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> of the dreams I once had</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">By now I was suppose to have a masters degree</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">by now I was suppose to have a second car</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">by now I was suppose to have a career</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Everyday is guess</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Can I get out of bed?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Where did I put my car keys?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I have no energy at all</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I can' t focus anymore</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">By now I was suppose to have lots of friends</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">by now I was suppose to be able to travel long distances</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">by now I was suppose to be able to try anything physical I wanted to</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When did my life become an odd session of compromises</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">If I do this, how horrible will I feel later</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">If I take this herbal/medicine how horrible will I feel until I start to feel better</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">If I go do something I enjoy, I pay</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">If I take my medicine, I pay</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">If I don't take my medicine, I pay</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">when can I get off this merry go round</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">When can I stop wondering when the other shoe will fall everyday</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">when do I get my life back</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">what is normal</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">By now I was suppose to plan my day around my interests, not my body</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">by now I was suppose to learn to play guitar not ration my precious energy</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">by now I was suppose do something worth meaning because just breathing is not enough anymore</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">when does this end? </span></b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Photography by Angele Rice at Two Lights State Park Maine</b></td></tr>
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-73576347555385533562015-01-18T17:46:00.003-08:002015-01-18T17:46:47.842-08:00The Treatment Go Round<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The Treatment Go Round is nothing new to me after 6 full years. As I go into year number 7 I find myself becoming resistant to trying anything new for the treatment of my Bartonella. I've tried at least 4 different protocols for it. I can't seem to get past this wall and off any heavy treatment I'm around 70% better. I guess we all hold out hope that we will make it to 100% or as close to normal as we can get. Problem is I'm sick and tired of being a guinea pig and feeling like I'm a walking experiment. So I guess you could say I've been on mini-vacation from treatment.</span></span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm trying to move forward in my life the best I can. I'm starting to work part time online and the learning curve is catching up with me. I guess that's what you get for learning from experience. I'm self taught. I feel like a jumbled up mess. I need to move forward in my health, personal life, and career. I have to brave a whole new chapter without any knowledge or wisdom to guide me along my new path. I have to fake it til I make I suppose. I know life is a learning process. And I am daily student. But somedays I wish somethings I just knew. </span></span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Why can't at least a few things in this life of mine come easy instead of this heavy, drudging work. Just once I want to say well that way easy! I feel like in the world of Lyme Disease those words just don't exist. Its a constant battle. And I'm doing my best not to the let the stress and constraints of this body wear me out and wear me down. But that's easily said than done. When I get to a place that I think most things in my life might be stable something always comes loose and that's my health.</span></span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I think that's why I haven't tried to work that much. I've done more volunteering in case I dropped the ball, forget what I did, or just too sick to do anything. Now I fear that if any of those things happen I will be letting people down more than ever before and I don't have time for that. Its amazing how hard we push ourselves to the point of breaking not realizing maturity is more about how well we pace ourselves within the constraints we are given and do it well. Its about communicating where we are, what we can do and what we cannot do and taking responsibility for it. Its speaking for all parts of ourselves. Being our own best advocate. Well I guess this advocate needs to take a chill pill. </span></span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I haven't written on my blog in so long because I haven't been able to express what I think and feel and experience. I feel like I'm so in the thick of things that I just survive. Sometimes that's all I can do. Is hold on. I only pushed my body for 4 days straight and it has taken 3 days of nothing just to feel like I can get back to everything again. Who in their right mind would sign up for such a crazy deal. Who would want a Chronic Illness that forces them to take a child's pace. Who would want to worry everyday that something horrible is gonna happen if they just let go and enjoy life and live it fully. That's what its like living in this body. I'm always always always waiting for the other shoe to fall. For a new diagnosis of something wrong with me. Nightmares that I have cancer or die. Or I end up loosing it all and falling apart forever. </span></span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I guess that's the torturous part of this illness. You always dread the next day because you honestly don't know what it will bring and your not sure you can handle it. No one can promise you that the nightmare is over. No one. I know so many people who loose hope being sick for so long. So I know these are all normal feelings to have. Just because they are normal doesn't mean they loose their power to hurt. They need a voice. I guess that's why I'm blogging today. To remind myself that all my parts deserve to be heard and have a valid voice and request. To Be Still. And that the world isn't falling apart yet. To breathe. That sometimes existing has its power and place. That value isn't based upon makeup and a fresh dewy complexion, or correctly spelled words, or cool clothes, or perfect health. Value is simply being yourself and existing. Even that little bit has an affect upon the world. </span></span></b><br />
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-21050595437311234992014-09-14T19:59:00.001-07:002014-09-14T19:59:04.520-07:00Truth Out<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitIfaIqRZG-8WD672EAXlQEqVqThKhsbegqlgP_ZG_wp5Mi8OIWHanMy22HMYGaNHClA3QHO3eKC5kS16EYRSz4q11uCMIJe5flqcg_00kW2QhG_UY1sNiKj-F7xDYG1H7oL9h8AmBHNR3/s640/blogger-image-86346284.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitIfaIqRZG-8WD672EAXlQEqVqThKhsbegqlgP_ZG_wp5Mi8OIWHanMy22HMYGaNHClA3QHO3eKC5kS16EYRSz4q11uCMIJe5flqcg_00kW2QhG_UY1sNiKj-F7xDYG1H7oL9h8AmBHNR3/s640/blogger-image-86346284.jpg"></a></div><br></div>I have to be honest today has been a rough day. I got lost the the back roads with GPS and I lost it. I wanted to scream and cry. I couldn't get past the anxiety and frustration. I was unable to navigate roads I knew as a kid. I was shaking and when I finally arrived at my destination I had to sit in my car. The thought of dealing with crowds of people made my anxiety worse. I felt on the edge of the world and all the meanwhile my son needed me to come back down to earth. I mean I am an adult I should be able to keep my brains together but I couldn't. I was in pain and I was loosing it. <div>After awhile I was able to get out of the car but my hands were still shaky from the rush of anxiety. It was embarrassing to not be my happy cheery self. I wanted to hide what just happened. I was also having one of those body image days and worried how I would look in pictures. I felt so ugly. My skin was broken out but makeup can't make low confidence and anxiety go away. Lyme disease exposes our deepest darkest pain and weaknesses. It amplifies them at times when you least expect it. It steals away what little self esteem and confidence I have. I feel like I have to fight to rebuild everyday. It's hard to explain that to someone who sees you and thinks you look fine. I understand people can't see all of the burdens I carry around with me. Sometimes I hide behind that wall praying no one will notice. Then there are days you wish someone would rescue from your internal torment, hug you and tell you, you are valuable especially on the days when it's hardest to convience yourself of that. I have always struggled with how I look to others. Now I hate how I look in general. It's hard to like a body that is full of daily aches and pains. What is hard is moving beyond the self hatred and starting to love yourself scars and mess and all. I made the mistake a long time ago to love and take care of everyone else. I forgot to love myself. It's time I started learning how to on a new level.</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgarqZWm-t2Fxz_0kVcQOMGUGshd-LWWJd02NkVnssWpvl5oyBbc34iGhjcJI0X9noIZiY_Zgd3Lwj-tLxSMeU1GXXtinqSrDBlwsEpf7qghK8NtiU09jEpZRRNJLP8ZUOYRLwB_zg3NYNE/s640/blogger-image-888555700.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgarqZWm-t2Fxz_0kVcQOMGUGshd-LWWJd02NkVnssWpvl5oyBbc34iGhjcJI0X9noIZiY_Zgd3Lwj-tLxSMeU1GXXtinqSrDBlwsEpf7qghK8NtiU09jEpZRRNJLP8ZUOYRLwB_zg3NYNE/s640/blogger-image-888555700.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-15754773630654687062014-08-19T22:50:00.001-07:002014-08-19T22:50:40.380-07:00What do I say now?<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg75FAH2LU0pL2_Xo-jG7CCvDPCfMDNXXKR4BMEONmYmPMP84KZE7wg9ot9i1yrO4riZTtOAUP2DXgvkkyXefq3VNny3Hdlub83d1wJGBa633p77Vqu4iNL4jUQCShIP3TyFDW5hqMzDAQ/s640/blogger-image--1977101797.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhg75FAH2LU0pL2_Xo-jG7CCvDPCfMDNXXKR4BMEONmYmPMP84KZE7wg9ot9i1yrO4riZTtOAUP2DXgvkkyXefq3VNny3Hdlub83d1wJGBa633p77Vqu4iNL4jUQCShIP3TyFDW5hqMzDAQ/s640/blogger-image--1977101797.jpg"></a></div><br></div>I've been in Lyme disease treatment now going on six years. I am using my skills for good and I'm an advocate. But what else is there? I am reminded of a time when my acupuncturist told me if you could spend all your energy on getting well and put it into something else what would you do? I am still trying to answer his question. I enjoy helping out other learning patients. I help out with a lime disease support group. I am trying to use my photography to get the word out about Lyme disease but again what else is out there for me? I homeschool my son. I clean my house. I've really enjoyed going to the ocean a lot this summer. Despite some of my down days and not feeling well I've been able to keep up with my friends. But again I ask myself what else is out there for me. I think soul-searching is normal. And I know it 36 there must be other opportunities that I can take a hold of but again what do I want? I know creativity is a big part of who I am. On my good days I start to explore what that means to me. I think what I am needing is new experiences that have never had before I've always been a constant learner. I know Lyme disease will be there in the back room somewhere no matter what I do but I don't want it to define all of me. It's time for me to open up the doors and walk through them. Instead of staring at the door handle. I need new fun memories filled with all that I love my family my son my cats photography art music. I want a life that spills over into the lives of others in a positive way. It's time for me to discover how to do that. Now is the time to move forward no matter what lyme disease does in my life. I can keep waiting for the other shoe to drop or I can just focus on living to the fullest the best I can. <div><br></div><div><br><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuH8GNKZcxG7tUTaHO7Qt5St_yzimb-UswBXuIcEVb_h_TDaHOcwq51i5SwTXgf84CD5Kr84t0hFBVvAUNDO9vSzl_VDD5U_f8FbUxZa8nQFUAgQidDfvOUv_pXQ-w3W8YM3DFPxjXdunE/s640/blogger-image--663593830.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuH8GNKZcxG7tUTaHO7Qt5St_yzimb-UswBXuIcEVb_h_TDaHOcwq51i5SwTXgf84CD5Kr84t0hFBVvAUNDO9vSzl_VDD5U_f8FbUxZa8nQFUAgQidDfvOUv_pXQ-w3W8YM3DFPxjXdunE/s640/blogger-image--663593830.jpg"></a></div> </div></div>Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-20004088191059107122014-06-15T12:29:00.002-07:002014-06-15T12:52:11.012-07:00Ways to Get Help<br />
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<b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKxC2H2x3EIl3TIAVDF43WicrZJxQcyt9UkUGr17TMbYxsgh2H4KGxsfDS9KAHf6PsaqDD3Y6z7bC1dvghub7awX2ho1WOxKpviQ46hpbguMkIFYKM3SDLu22Otnz5dg6GchZxOP6k8EYS/s1600/Hands-in-Hand-Drawing-by-Pezcado-Julien-Poisson-121.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKxC2H2x3EIl3TIAVDF43WicrZJxQcyt9UkUGr17TMbYxsgh2H4KGxsfDS9KAHf6PsaqDD3Y6z7bC1dvghub7awX2ho1WOxKpviQ46hpbguMkIFYKM3SDLu22Otnz5dg6GchZxOP6k8EYS/s1600/Hands-in-Hand-Drawing-by-Pezcado-Julien-Poisson-121.jpg" height="200" width="153" /></a></b></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b> <a href="http://whatislyme.com/assistance/">http://whatislyme.com/assistance/</a></b></span><br />
<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Lyme Tap</b></span>
– The Lyme Test Access Program (Lyme-TAP) is a nationwide patient
assistance program to provide assistance for initial Lyme-related lab
tests to patients who demonstrate true financial need.<br />
<a href="http://www.lymetap.com/" target="_blank" title="Lyme Tap">http://www.lymetap.com/</a><br />
<a href="http://www.lymelightfoundation.org/grants/" target="_blank"><b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Lyme Light</span><br />
</b></a>Anyone diagnosed with Lyme disease between ages of 3-25 and can demonstrate a qualified financial need.<br />
http://lymelightfoundation.org/<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Meal Train</b></span><br />
http://www.mealtrain.com/learn/what_is_a_meal_train/<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Lyme Roommates<br />
</b></span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/445692835451476/445968085423951/?notif_t=group_activity" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/groups/445692835451476/445968085423951/?notif_t=group_activity</a><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Lymies Seeking Roomates<br />
</b></span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/471747336171718/" target="_blank" title="Lymies Seeking Roomates">https://www.facebook.com/groups/471747336171718/</a><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Needy Meds</b></span><br />
<a href="http://www.needymeds.org/index.htm" target="_blank">http://www.needymeds.org/index.htm</a><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Make A Wish<br />
</b></span>Click on this link to go to “Make a Netwish”, a site to get monies, if you are in need.<br />
<a href="http://www.netwish.org/Request_a_Net_Wish.html" target="_blank">http://www.netwish.org/Request_a_Net_Wish.html</a><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Clinic of Angels<br />
</b></span>Click on this link to go to “Clinic of Angels”, a site to get monies, if you are in need.<a href="http://www.clinicofangels.org/" target="_blank">http://www.clinicofangels.org/ </a>and click on the Financial application form on the left of the screen.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Help With Medicine Costs<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.needymeds.org/" target="_blank" title="Needy Meds">http://www.needymeds.org/</a><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><a href="http://fundraiserhelpat.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Fundraiser Help</a></b></span><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Providing Patients Access to the Medicines They Need<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.bridgestoaccess.com/" target="_blank" title="Bridge To Access">http://www.bridgestoaccess.com/</a><br />
<b>Following Info Provided by Shanna Yule, thank you Shanna for putting this together for us!</b><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Bridges To Access<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.bridgestoaccess.com/" target="_blank" title="http://www.bridgestoaccess.com/">http://www.bridgestoaccess.com/<br />
</a>The GSK program providing low cost or no cost medications for
non-medicare patients or for people who do not have prescription
coverage. It is a great program for Malarone and Mepron.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>ClinicalTrials.gov</b></span><a href="http://clinicaltrials.gov/" target="_blank" title="http://clinicaltrials.gov"><br />
</a>ClinicalTrials.gov is a registry and results database of federally
and privately supported clinical trials conducted in the United States
and around the world. ClinicalTrials.gov gives you information about a
trial’s purpose, who may participate, locations, and phone numbers for
more details. This information should be used in conjunction with advice
from health care professionals. Use the search tool, there seem to be a
few trials recruiting for Lyme Disease patients.<br />
<a href="http://clinicaltrials.gov/" target="_blank" title="http://clinicaltrials.gov">http://clinicaltrials.gov</a><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Clinic Of Angels</b></span><br />
The Clinic of Angels is a 501(c) 3 non-profit organization founded in
2005 by Michael Cichon MD. Dr. Cichon, a board certified Internal
Medicine and Infectious Disease physician has practiced in the Tampa Bay
area for over 30 years. His purpose in starting this organization was
to help chronically ill patients by providing financial resources to
help in their medical care.<br />
<a href="http://whatislyme.com/assistance/%22http://www.clinicofangels.org/" target="_blank" title=""http://www.clinicofangels.org/">http://www.clinicofangels.org/<br />
</a><a href="http://www.clinicofangels.org/Clinic%20of%20Angels%20Application%20for%20Services%20with%20income%20chart%20New%20%282%29.pdf" target="_blank" title="http://www.clinicofangels.org/Clinic%20of%20Angels%20Application%20for%20Services%20with%20income%20chart%20New%20(2).pdf ">http://www.clinicofangels.org/Clinic%20of%20Angels%20Application%20for%20Services%20with%20income%20chart%20New%20(2).pdf</a> (application form)<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Co-Payment Programs</b></span><a href="http://www.pparx.org/en/prescription_assistance_programs/co-payment_programs" target="_blank" title="http://www.pparx.org/en/prescription_assistance_programs/co-payment_programs"><br />
</a>Co-pay programs provide financial assistance for certain health care costs to patients who qualify financially and medically.<br />
Discount for Condensed Cowden Support Program via Nutramedix -<br />
<a href="http://www.pparx.org/en/prescription_assistance_programs/co-payment_programs" target="_blank" title="http://www.pparx.org/en/prescription_assistance_programs/co-payment_programs">http://www.pparx.org/en/prescription_assistance_programs/co-payment_programs<br />
</a><a href="http://www.nutramedix.com/company.asp" target="_blank" title="http://www.nutramedix.com/company.asp">http://www.nutramedix.com/company.asp<br />
</a><a href="http://www.nutramedix.com/" target="_blank" title="http://www.nutramedix.com/">http://www.nutramedix.com/</a>contact-us.asp (phone numbers)<br />
The Nutramedix company more than a year ago offered for a while, free
Condensed Cowden Support Programs (CCSP) to select Lyme patients.
Nutramedix no longer offers that but if someone with severe Lyme disease
&/or co-infections wants to go on the CCSP but can’t afford it,
they can contact Nutramedix to discuss their financial situation &
request a discount based on financial need.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Discount Drug Card Programs<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.pparx.org/en/prescription_assistance_programs/discount_cards" target="_blank" title="http://www.pparx.org/en/prescription_assistance_programs/discount_cards">http://www.pparx.org/en/prescription_assistance_programs/discount_cards<br />
</a>A list of many state and other “savings card” programs to help with cost of medications.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>GSK-Access<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.gsk-access.com/index.html" target="_blank" title="http://www.gsk-access.com/index.html">http://www.gsk-access.com/index.html</a> (home page)<br />
<a href="http://www.gsk-access.com/medicines/medicine-list.html" target="_blank" title="http://www.gsk-access.com/medicines/medicine-list.html ">http://www.gsk-access.com/medicines/medicine-list.html </a>(list of medicines)<br />
GSK Access is a GlaxoSmithKline patient assistance program. It provides
GSK prescription medicines—at no charge—to qualified patients who are
enrolled in a Medicare Part D Prescription Drug Plan.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>L.E.A.P. – Financial Assistance Program<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.leaparizona.com/financialassistance.htm" target="_blank" title="http://www.leaparizona.com/financialassistance.htm">http://www.leaparizona.com/financialassistance.htm<br />
</a>There is very little financial assistance available for children and
adults suffering with Lyme disease. We at L.E.A.P. are attempting to
raise funds for this very purpose for patients in Arizona and across the
United States. Our program consists of a financial assistance
application which is confidentially reviewed and verified during the
approval process. When patients are approved for assistance, all funds
disbursed on their behalf are sent directly to their providers/creditors
after insurance payments and balance verification. We make sure that
grants and donors’ contributions are used appropriately.<br />
In addition, L.E.A.P. has a partnership with Amazon.com. Amazon makes
a donation to L.E.A.P each and every time a purchase is made using this
link: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/?&tag=lymeeducation-20&camp=15345&creative=331689&linkCode=ur1&adid=06609TZGXCZ7F7YH5GDM&" target="_blank" title="http://www.amazon.com/?&tag=lymeeducation-20&camp=15345&creative=331689&linkCode=ur1&adid=06609TZGXCZ7F7YH5GDM& ">http://www.amazon.com/?&tag=lymeeducation-20&camp=15345&creative=331689&linkCode=ur1&adid=06609TZGXCZ7F7YH5GDM&</a> Pass this on!<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Lyme Aid 4Kids<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.needymeds.org/co_pay_program.taf?_function=detail&program_id=268" target="_blank" title="http://www.needymeds.org/co_pay_program.taf?_function=detail&program_id=268 ">http://www.needymeds.org/co_pay_program.taf?_function=detail&program_id=268 </a>(overview/contact info)<br />
<a href="http://www.lymediseaseassociation.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=592&Itemid=38" target="_blank" title="http://www.LymeDiseaseAssociation.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=592&Itemid=38">http://www.LymeDiseaseAssociation.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=592&Itemid=38</a> (application)<br />
The LymeAid 4 Kids (LA4K) fund began in 2004 and has helped children all
over the U.S. and in Canada. Developed with the help of author Amy Tan,
the fund is for children who do not have/receive insurance coverage for
Lyme disease treatment for children and have economic difficulties.
Donations can be made on-line to LDA help this LA4K fund as there are so
many applicants, the fund does run out of money frequently.<br />
<b><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Help With Pet Bills<br />
</span></b><a href="http://www.rescuinganimalsinneed.org/financial_help.htm">http://www.rescuinganimalsinneed.org/financial_help.htm</a><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Modest Needs<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.modestneeds.org/explore/" target="_blank" title="http://www.modestneeds.org/explore/">http://www.modestneeds.org/explore/<br />
</a><a href="http://www.modestneeds.org/intro/" target="_blank" title="http://www.modestneeds.org/intro/">http://www.modestneeds.org/intro/<br />
</a>Modest Needs offers three main types of grants: Self-Sufficiency
Grants, Back-to-Work Grants, and Independent Living Grants. The grants
we offer at Modest Needs come with no strings attached and do not ever
have to be repaid.<br />
Modest Needs’ grant programs are designed PRIMARILY to assist
individuals and families who generally are able to pay their monthly
bills with no help from anyone, who don’t qualify for conventional types
of social or charitable assistance, and who are facing a financial
crisis because they’ve encountered a single, unexpected expense they
just can’t afford on their own.<br />
Of course, we also offer grants that are designed to assist people
who are in the process of returning to work, persons who need help to
afford accessibility equipment, and small non-profit organizations. But,
in general, Modest Needs just does not have the resources to assist
individuals or families who are homeless, have no regular income of
their own, or need / receive ongoing help to afford the basics.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Partnership for Prescription Assistance<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.pparx.org/" target="_blank" title="http://www.pparx.org/">http://www.pparx.org/<br />
</a>The Partnership for Prescription Assistance helps qualifying
patients without prescription drug coverage get the medicines they need
through the program that is right for them. Many will get their
medications free or nearly free. The Partnership for Prescription
Assistance will help you find the program that’s right for you, free of
charge. Remember,you will never be asked for money by a PPA Call Center
representative, or on this Web site.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Needy Meds<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.needymeds.org/resourcepages/lyme%20disease.htm" target="_blank" title="http://www.needymeds.org/resourcepages/lyme%20disease.htm">http://www.needymeds.org/resourcepages/lyme%20disease.htm<br />
</a>This is a Patient Assistance Programs (PAPs). Programs offered by
pharmaceutical companies to help those most in need gain access to their
medications at no or low cost. Each program has varying financial and
insurance guidelines – when in doubt, call the program. To find the
specific PAP information for a specific drug click on the list (on web
page). You will then be taken to a listing of all the programs available
for that medication.<br />
<a href="http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf" target="_blank" title="http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf">http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf</a><br />
This webpage, also part of Needy Meds, is specifically for those
without insurance or unable to pay for a visit with a physician,
NeedyMeds has compiled a nationwide list of free, low cost, and sliding
scale clinics. *Granted these are not LLMD’s specifically, probably
mostly Family Practitioners, Infectious Disease, etc, basically doctors
that have general knowledge about Lyme.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Patient Advocate Foundation (Co-Pay Relief)<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.copays.org/" target="_blank" title="http://www.copays.org/">http://www.copays.org/<br />
</a>The Patient Advocate Foundation (PAF) Co-Pay Relief Program (CPR)
currently provides direct financial support to insured patients,
including Medicare Part D beneficiaries, who must financially and
medically qualify to access pharmaceutical co-payment assistance. The
program offers personal service to all patients through the use of call
counselors; personally guiding patients through the enrollment process.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Prescription Hope<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.prescriptionhope.com/" target="_blank" title="http://www.prescriptionhope.com/">http://www.prescriptionhope.com/<br />
</a>A program helping people get prescriptions at a much lower price. So
if you are taking antibiotics, iv’s, etc, they could be a great
resource to look into. From their website “We assist individuals who
need to take prescription medications, yet lack the income to afford the
monthly expense. Since our founding in 2001 we have assisted thousands
of uninsured and underinsured individuals throughout the United States
in obtaining prescriptions directly from the manufacturer.”<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>RxAssist<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.rxassist.org/" target="_blank" title="http://www.rxassist.org/">http://www.rxassist.org/<br />
</a>Information about free medications. Find information about free and
low cost medicine programs and other ways to manage your medication
costs. Patient assistance programs are run by pharmaceutical companies
to provide free medications to people who cannot afford to buy their
medicine. RxAssist offers a comprehensive database of these patient
assistance programs.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Rx Hope<br />
</b></span><a href="https://www.rxhope.com/" target="_blank" title="https://www.rxhope.com/">https://www.rxhope.com/<br />
</a>RxHope is exactly what its name implies…a helping hand to people in
need in obtaining critical medications that they would normally have
trouble affording. We act as your advocate in making the patient
assistance program journey easier and faster by supplying vital
information and help.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Wish Upon A Hero<br />
</b></span><a href="http://www.wishuponahero.com/" target="_blank" title="http://www.wishuponahero.com">http://www.wishuponahero.com<br />
</a>Wish Upon A Hero is a website that brings together people to help
grant wishes big and small. No wish is too large, no hero is too small.<br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: black;"><b><span style="color: black; text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sponsor-a-child-for-their-birthday/345163365521900">Sponsor a child for their birthday<br />
</a></span></b></span></span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sponsor-a-child-for-their-birthday/345163365521900">https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sponsor-a-child-for-their-birthday/345163365521900</a><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Financial Assistance for Lyme Disease Patients<br />
</b></span><a href="http://lyme.kaiserpapers.org/financial-assistance.html">http://lyme.kaiserpapers.org/financial-assistance.html</a><br />
<br />
Go Fund Me is another great way to raise funds for yourself and let people see where their donations are going.<br />
<a href="http://www.gofundme.com/">http://www.gofundme.com/</a><br />
<br />
You could hold an online Auction of handmade items, donated items, or items of your own that you are selling on 32Auctions.<br />
<a href="http://www.32auctions.com/">http://www.32auctions.com/</a><br />
<br />
Ways to get help if you live in the USA<br />
<a href="http://www.usa.gov/citizen/topics/family/help-for-difficult-financial-times.shtml">http://www.usa.gov/citizen/topics/family/help-for-difficult-financial-times.shtml</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.benefits.gov/">http://www.benefits.gov/</a><br />
<br />
<b>If you have a Go Fund Me page or something similar please message me and I will do what I can to help your page get some views and traffic!</b>Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-80448696528256130802014-05-28T16:35:00.005-07:002014-06-11T14:12:14.408-07:00Taking Flight<br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>When you have chronic illness we build walls of protection for the sake
of our fragile bodies. But it's until we push beyond those self built
walls that we realize we are not flightless. Our soul and spirit can
permeate any walls. It's up to us to let ourselves free. We don't feel
truly alive until we jump the protective walls we have built and push
ourselves to the breaking point. Sometimes we have to risk being
shattered to be made whole again. To become closer to our true selves.
We can't grow until we are willing to be challenged. We won't feel
alive and leave the zombie existence behind until we step outside our
comfort zone. I felt like a Lymie Zombie for far too long. I am just
now starting to live again. I have told myself too many times I am not
sure my health can handle this or that. Yes there is a time to pull
back, regroup and rest. But I am learning maturity knows when to rest
and where to push beyond. I can't sit here and rest forever watching
life pass me by. I am ready to be apart of the land of the living. If
that means more traveling adventures, activism, or taking classes I have
no idea. But it's freeing to see the possibilities before you. And
simply being open to them. Instead of saying all the time I'm too sick
to do that. Am I really too sick or too scared? I feel like I am
flirting with a chance for a more normal existence. To grow from life's
possibilities. Instead of feeling limited by them. Recovering from
Lyme Disease is a long term, life long journey with it's daily ups and
downs. </b></span><br />
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<br />Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-76558515575001001742014-04-03T11:00:00.000-07:002014-04-03T11:06:01.479-07:00Passion is the Fuel<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>"passion is the</b></span> <b><span style="font-size: large;">fuel that keeps me going"</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">I've been in treatment for Lyme Disease and Co-infections now going into my 6th year. I still sometimes look back and think man I've come a long way. I can somewhat keep up with my 8 year old son and homeschool him full time. I can walk a few miles every week and not be sick for days after. I have stretches of time where I simply forgot I'm sick and enjoy what life brings. On the days I need to regroup and rest I am reminded that I still need to pace myself and that Lyme Disease never seems to be fully gone. I still worry about my son if he has Lyme Disease from me. He now needs to be on a similar Celiac diet as me and is doing much better on it. I never thought of myself as someone who could bring about change, be a leader, a loud voice in the crowd, or a trend setter. I have always thought of myself as the Listener, the Advocate, the Loyal friend, the Kind one, the Gentle Soul. I'm not saying any of these qualities are more important than any other ones. </span></span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">But as I reflect on where I am now I realize I am in a different place than where I started over 5 years ago. My experiences as a Lyme Disease patient has shaped my heart, soul, mind and spirit. And there is no going back. I cannot help but want to help others with Lyme Disease not because I have all the answers although I wished I did. But because its an overwhelming internal passion. Its a passion that fuels me to keep going. I cannot pass by a post on facebook that says someone is having a bad day, loosing hope, or feeling alone. I have felt those feelings many many many times. I just want other's to know they are not alone just like someone did for me so many times before. To Pay It Forward. I truly believe in my heart of hearts that what goes around comes around. For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. If you send out anger, resentment, and hate that's what you will get in return. If you send out humble, free love with no strings is always comes back. </span></span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Even at my sickest giving to someone else has pulled me through the darkest days. And there are times I've helped someone out and nothing happened in return for months. But when I least expected it a kindness always came my way. I can't explain why the world works this way. Why our universe seems to be based on these invisible principles. I never thought just breathing and laying on a couch fighting for my health was a protest and valiant thing on its own. That those simple actions were heroic and powerful as much as someone holding a protest sign on a corner.</span></span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> I used to minimize the power of photographs, poetry and words. I have stopped doing that now. I realize our very breathe has meaning, power, and contributes to the very energy all around us. I heard so many times while I was sick I was valuable even sick as hell. I thought Okay? How is that exactly? I didn't realize just pushing forward inch my inch as best as I could was a story of hope for someone else out there. But its not just my story that matters. All of our journey's and stories matter. Good or bad. I used to think my very presence in this world never mattered and no one would care if I left. Be careful what you minimize. You never know the impact you are making until you can see yourself and circumstances from a different view point. </span></span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">Perspective is everything. Its taken me years to see more and more how each life has an impact and power. We forget how powerful we human beings are in the midst of so much pain and hurt and destruction. We have no idea what those moments will bring out in us and the long term impact they may have on own very souls. Please don't minimize your awesome tragic beauty. Your struggle through Lyme Disease might be carving you into something greater than where you started. And you never know what the impact of that will be. My journey has made me a passionate advocate and activist. I'm still a human being. I still wait some days wondering how long a stretch of good health will last. But I find as I heal I am more focused on living everyday to the best of my ability. </span></span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">My perspective has widened and I see now the ways I can help. I also learning boundaries with it. Having times where Lyme Disease is set to the side so I can join the joys of living. I feel like the Lion within me is tamed. He tries to come back and bite me but I know how to put him in his place. The whole process of my healing is not perfect and I still need some level of treatment and medical support. But my heart and soul are free. They are no longer run by an illness. I plan to keep it that and I plan to rebuild myself and love myself one day at a time. </span></span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: maroon;">“I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.”</span></h3>
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<span style="color: maroon;">Mother Theresa</span></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQBl_dF1NrvFtbpt2fhYoyDInKeEasNNJZqJQYGCaB63f2ogfDQ2K-iv7PGQNkpaqvClKzS3uElne37GJdTv0nUtytTcdKU5nEAYAk6sPqiQ94QElp7PpkFDwI67YUyaSxD17xAPv50_8Q/s1600/angelesiphonephotos3+043.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQBl_dF1NrvFtbpt2fhYoyDInKeEasNNJZqJQYGCaB63f2ogfDQ2K-iv7PGQNkpaqvClKzS3uElne37GJdTv0nUtytTcdKU5nEAYAk6sPqiQ94QElp7PpkFDwI67YUyaSxD17xAPv50_8Q/s1600/angelesiphonephotos3+043.JPG" height="320" width="319" /></a></div>
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<span class="bqQuoteLink"><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mothertere142106.html" title="view quote">I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.</a></span><br />
<div class="bq-aut">
<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mothertere142106.html" title="view quote">Mother Teresa</a></div>
<br />
Read more at <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mother_teresa.html#QiXTIs9hg5sS3THu.99" style="color: #003399;">http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mother_teresa.html#QiXTIs9hg5sS3THu.99</a></div>
<div id="r1PostCPBlock" style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; left: -99999px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<span class="bqQuoteLink"><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mothertere142106.html" title="view quote">I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.</a></span><br />
<div class="bq-aut">
<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mothertere142106.html" title="view quote">Mother Teresa</a></div>
<br />
Read more at <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mother_teresa.html#QiXTIs9hg5sS3THu.99" style="color: #003399;">http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mother_teresa.html#QiXTIs9hg5sS3THu.99</a></div>
<div id="r1PostCPBlock" style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; left: -99999px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<span class="bqQuoteLink"><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mothertere142106.html" title="view quote">I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.</a></span><br />
<div class="bq-aut">
<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mothertere142106.html" title="view quote">Mother Teresa</a></div>
<br />
Read more at <a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mother_teresa.html#QiXTIs9hg5sS3THu.99" style="color: #003399;">http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mother_teresa.html#QiXTIs9hg5sS3THu.99</a></div>
Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-41373088301586547742014-03-31T08:49:00.000-07:002014-03-31T08:49:17.182-07:00What Has Lyme Taught Me?<br />
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It may seem very strange reading a blog post about how Lyme Disease has taught a person something. But in the end, here I am typing away realizing that I have learned a lot over the years from being chronically and invisibly sick. So often I have asked why am I so sick? What's the purpose of all this suffering? Enough already! Well I'm not perfectly healthy at 100% its more like 70%. But I can say looking back I've come a long way baby! I currently homeschool my 8 year old son full time, run a house, deal with a woodstove, and try to have a basic social life. I am super grateful for all the online support and local support we have now. I look around these days and realize I can start to let into my life some really nice people. I don't have to hide being sick and at the same time I don't need to focus or talk about being sick all the time. I'm starting to find that balance. I want more now from my friendships and I know now that I deserve it. I'm sure I will have other valley's in my life to learn from I'm sure but for now I will take a break and rest a bit right here :) So here's my up to date list of what Lyme has taught me.<br />
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1. I worth someone's time, energy, love, and attention.<br />
2. People can't give what they don't have. <br />
3. I'm not the only one suffering. If I am breathing today there is someone out there who is not. So I should be grateful for at least that much. There is always someone out there who has it worse than I do. So its called perspective.<br />
4. I am the captain of my own ship and I will determine my own destiny. Lyme Disease, circumstances and people don't get a say in it. <br />
5. I own who I am and where I am going.<br />
6. My instincts and gut's are usually right. So I have stopped doubting them and I listen.<br />
7. Just because someone in Authority says so doesn't mean its true. Research, research, research, and then I am coming up with some of my own conclusions.<br />
8. I'm not perfect and I need days to be imperfect and let go and be okay with that.<br />
9. I need to be my own best advocate and then in turn I can be a good advocate for those around me.<br />
10. Finding ones purpose matters when the fog has lifted.<br />
11. I can use my passions in life like photography to help others and that's powerful.<br />
12. My voice has power.<br />
13. Find ways to give myself breaks as much as possible. Even Spiderman needs breaks to recharge. <br />
14. I'm just me and that's not so bad. <br />
15. Pace yourself the laundry can wait.<br />
16. If my son and I are alive but the house is a mess that was a good day. <br />
17. Relationships matter more than things.<br />
18. Try new things its help you to feel alive.<br />
19. Do the best you can, how you can, when you can. <br />
20. When you start to compare Journey's, you not only devalue your journey but someone else's. Value your journey and value others just as they are.<br />
21. If you can Network Network Network. It takes a village to help a Lymie get better. You cannot do this by yourself. At the same time listen to your gut if someone seems untrustworthy stay away from them. Its better to be alone for a time than to be taken advantage of.<br />
22. Stop Fixing other people, its not your life to fix and save your energy to love and heal your own self. <br />
23. Offering support is the only thing I can do.<br />
24. Don't forget to let a good thing into your heart. If a Lymie friend says "you look great today". Say "thank you". Each tiny bit of goodness saved up helps you get through the days when no one is around and you are alone with your dark thoughts. <br />
25. If you are angry, full of rage, can't stand the world, and have depression and anxiety, its not just the Lyme and Co-infections talking. Ask yourself these questions: Why are you angry? Did someone hurt your feelings? Are you stuffing the pain of rejection by others? Are you lonely? Do you need a break from Lymie land? <br />
26. Listen to your answers and see if you are able to get to the root of your internal pain in your heart and soul. You maybe be able to find a solution and you may not. But at least you listened to yourself and gave yourself a voice. Be your own best friend. Then when you can get a listening ear ask if you can Vent Away! Sometimes blogging, poetry, a hot bath, listening to calming music can help calm the mind and body enough to hear the response of our hearts as to what we need to get through the day or week. So start listening to yourself and be honest. Your needs matter.<br />
27. When you put your needs and health above other friendships and relationships people may not like that at all especially if you were the giver in the relationship. Since Lyme Disease turns us into Takers for a time make sure you can be as clear as possible about what you can give and NOT give. People may not like what you have to say you are changing the boundaries of the relationship. But the few mature ones will stay for the long haul. <br />
28. While you are super crazy sick you will not be able to get your self esteem from what you can do. You will have to find it in other places. If you can make a small step in your health celebrate it! Its a great way to build your self esteem and hope and faith.<br />
29. Don't be shy to ask for help. Just be careful Who you ask for help. <br />
30. Everyone has a battle they are in everyday. You just might not know about it. So don't assume someone can help when you want them too. <br />
31. Be okay with someone else's No. <br />
32. As best you can find ways to live outside Lymie Land. At my sickest photography was the thing that let me feel alive and normal. Making cards for others made me feel like I was able to do something productive and it helped put a smile on someone else's face. <br />
33. Its okay if you cannot give to anyone else right now but also be open to the times you can give the very support and love back to others that you were given. <br />
34. If you get better and choose not to be involved with the Lymie community or choose to help out. Either choice is okay. You are not less or more of a person either way.Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-45695222652153920822014-03-30T11:08:00.001-07:002014-03-30T15:27:42.513-07:00World Wide Lyme Disease Protest 2014<b>All of this information is off this website: <a href="http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/p/about.html">http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/p/about.html</a></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><b><u><a href="http://cooltext.com/"><img alt="About the WWLDAP" src="http://images.cooltext.com/3540631.gif" height="115" width="543" /></a></u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><b><u><a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/p/about.html&media=http://images.cooltext.com/3540631.gif&description=About" style="display: block; outline: none;" target="_blank"><img class="pinimg" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3V-HPZ362H5BlZoFLRy2TkAldAms-cozm-EL4DW7n_ugM2Do8TddtwkkY-VHYyenziztZegc3yUDX9G8O_GMAQ8ODs0jW-z-iB2Tn_br0x-RE55iv7eXxiBHxTZjIp_ajIfFKiLYdLID3/s1600/pinterestx1_72.png" style="-moz-box-shadow: none; -o-box-shadow: none; -webkit-box-shadow: none; background: transparent; border: 0; box-shadow: none; margin: 0; padding: 0;" title="Pin on Pinterest" /></a></u></b></span></div>
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<b><i style="font-size: 15px;">Where: Global</i></b></div>
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<b><i>When: May 16-18, 2014</i></b></div>
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<b><i>What: Lyme Awareness Events around the world</i></b></div>
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<b>
Ok folks! It's that time of year again to start planning and getting
ready for the 2014 May Worldwide Lyme Awareness Protests and other
events. Get your thinking caps on and let's start coming up with some
good creative ideas for May.</b></div>
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<b>
Remember it's ok to have different kinds of events. Protests are fine
too but please consider all different types of events. Anything that
spreads awareness is good! <a href="http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/2013/11/ideas-for-2014-wwldap-events.html" style="color: #38761d; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Click Here for some Ideas!</a></b></div>
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The Worldwide Lyme Awareness Protest was started in 2013. Over 30
countries banned together to help spread awareness and protest over the
lack of attention Lyme Disease gets. We want to bring attention to the
need for research and education about tick borne infections.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/p/about.html" style="color: #38761d; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Read Mission Statement Here</a><br />
<br />
If you are looking to see if your state if involved please <a href="http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/p/state-events.html" style="color: #38761d; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Click Here </a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/p/volunteers-needed.html" style="color: #38761d; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Click Here for Volunteer Positions Needed</a><br />
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If your state doesn't have a coordinator or you would like to plan an event in your area, please contact lisa@whatislyme.<br />
</b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><u><i>Please join these sites!</i></u></span><br />
<a href="http://www.pinterest.com/wheresthekarma/worldwide-lyme-protest/" style="color: #38761d; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.2; text-decoration: none;">WWLDAP Pinterest</a><br />
<a href="https://plus.google.com/105349051292472647667/posts" style="color: #33aaff; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.2; text-decoration: none;">WWLDAP Google Plus Page</a><br />
<a href="https://twitter.com/lymeprotest" style="color: #38761d; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.2; text-decoration: none;">WWLDAP Twitter</a><br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/worldwidelymeprotest" style="color: #38761d; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.2; text-decoration: none;">WWLDAP International Facebook Page</a><br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Worldwide-Lyme-Protest-US/111527755675190" style="color: #38761d; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.2; text-decoration: none;">WWLDAP US Facebook Page</a></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><u><a href="http://cooltext.com/"><img alt="Mission Statement" src="http://images.cooltext.com/3540627.gif" height="115" width="482" /></a></u></b></span><br />
<div class="pinit-wrapper" style="cursor: pointer; opacity: 0; position: absolute; visibility: visible; z-index: 9999;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><u><a href="http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/p/about.html&media=http://images.cooltext.com/3540627.gif&description=About" style="display: block; outline: none;" target="_blank"><img class="pinimg" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3V-HPZ362H5BlZoFLRy2TkAldAms-cozm-EL4DW7n_ugM2Do8TddtwkkY-VHYyenziztZegc3yUDX9G8O_GMAQ8ODs0jW-z-iB2Tn_br0x-RE55iv7eXxiBHxTZjIp_ajIfFKiLYdLID3/s1600/pinterestx1_72.png" style="-moz-box-shadow: none; -o-box-shadow: none; -webkit-box-shadow: none; background: transparent; border: 0; box-shadow: none; margin: 0; padding: 0;" title="Pin on Pinterest" /></a></u></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: medium;">Worldwide Patients are raising awareness and protesting to highlight the need for:</span></b></div>
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1. Recognition that Lyme disease/borreliosis, and other tick-borne
infections, such as Babesia, Bartonella, Rickettsia, Ehrlichia, are
serious, and sometimes fatal illnesses.<br />
<br />
2. Awareness of the fact that the transmission of tick-borne pathogens,
such as borrelia, babesia, rickettsia, via blood transfusion is of
global concern.<br />
<br />
3. Agreement that Lyme disease/borreliosis should be listed as a
notifiable infection. Notifiable status will aid in ensuring that the
incidence and spread of this disease are monitored, a necessary
precursor to determining the human suffering and socioeconomic impact of
the disease.<br />
<br />
4. Education of the healthcare sector regarding the accurate diagnosis
of Lyme, which in some cases may be limited to clinical presentation due
to limitations of serological testing.<br />
<br />
*Education should ensure all doctors are familiar with the CDC caution
pertaining to criteria for blood tests for Lyme: “This surveillance case
definition was developed for national reporting of Lyme disease; it is
NOT appropriate for clinical diagnosis...Surveillance case definitions
are created for the purpose of standardization, not patient care.”<br />
<br />
* Education that Lyme should be included as a differential diagnosis
when considering other illnesses that are also reliant on subjective
clinical presentation, or have no known cause. This includes, but is not
limited to: Motor Neurone Disease (MND) also known as Lou Gehrig’s
disease or Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) ; Multiple Sclerosis ;
Alzheimer’s; Parkinson’s disease; Sarcoidosis.<br />
<br />
5. Education of the healthcare sector regarding affordable and effective
treatment of both acute and chronic Lyme and other tick-borne
infections. This includes the need to update the outdated treatment
guidelines of the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) and to
take into account the treatment methods of other Societies such as: The
International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society (ILADS) and the
German Borreliosis Society (Deutsche Borreliose-Gesellschaft : DBG)<br />
<br />
6. Funding for research into tick-borne diseases. Including: Funding for
medical research into accurate Lyme testing and treatment ; Funding for
research into vectors and reservoir hosts to determine what diseases
they may carry and transmit. </div>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Two Fundraisers are happening this year to raise awareness by setting up Billboards all across the USA! "</b></span><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>"As part of the Worldwide Lyme Disease Awareness Protest, the United
States has started a Billboard Campaign. We would like to place a
couple different billboards across the US. These places are still being
voted upon by Lyme patients."<a href="http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/2014/03/worldwide-lyme-awareness-2014-billboad.html">http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/2014/03/worldwide-lyme-awareness-2014-billboad.html</a></b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>1. </b></span><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>The Dollar Donation Box </b></span> <a href="http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/2014/03/dollar-donation-bucket-for-worldwide.html">http://wwldap2014.blogspot.com/2014/03/dollar-donation-bucket-for-worldwide.html</a></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>2. An Overcominglyme Auction here on this Blog! Please stay tuned as I start to post items for Auction, dates of when it will happen, and get a chance to know those donating items!</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">If you are interested in donating items to be auctioned off for this cause please email me: angbet35@gmail.com </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Example of items so far: paintings, photographs, bracelets, purses, candles, any hand made items, Music CD's donated by the Artist, etc. </span></span><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span></span><br /></b></span><br />
<br />Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-2365645757961832132014-03-26T17:19:00.001-07:002014-03-26T18:56:55.238-07:00Helping Other's Presents: Taylor Brune<b><span style="font-size: large;">I plan on posting those who need help on my blog once a
month. Please Meet Taylor Brune :) Please Read her story through the
words of her friend Alyssa.</span></b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/v/t34.0-12/10157303_10152325269545692_626338137_n.jpg?oh=084f39c43035039422a9be8c16931853&oe=533547DF" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" class="_4-od" data-reactid=".f.0.0.1.1" height="320" src="https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/v/t34.0-12/10157303_10152325269545692_626338137_n.jpg?oh=084f39c43035039422a9be8c16931853&oe=533547DF" width="320" /></a><b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span>"Hey there! My name is Alyssa Jenkins. I'm currently 22 years old, and
I have been good friends with Taylor Brune since our junior year in
high school. Currently, Taylor is undergoing some serious struggles in
her fight against Lyme disease. In 2012, she was diagnosed with Type 1
Diabetes, but even after numerous tests and several years of trying to
figure out just the right amount of insulin, Taylor was still
experiencing deadly health problems. After many a misdiagnosis, one
doctor discovered that she had contracted Lyme disease, most likely when
she was 12 years old. Because the disease was allowed to run rampant
for so long, she also contracted the co-infections Borrelia, Babesia,
and Bartonella. She has also developed Pancreatitis which may or may not
have advanced to Pancreatic cancer at this point. </b><br />
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<img class="_4-od" data-reactid=".f.0.0.1.1" height="400" src="https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/v/t34.0-12/1966769_10152325263485692_1067369145_n.jpg?oh=313b70c244207d493576217f19fa7b37&oe=5334C72C" width="300" /></div>
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<img class="_4-od" data-reactid=".f.0.0.1.1" height="240" src="https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/v/t34.0-12/10151304_10152325270630692_666026496_n.jpg?oh=b5677ebc9c2c077f072e0355d72a28c5&oe=5334F293" width="320" /></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"></span><br /></b></div>
<b> By all
statistics, Taylor should be dead. However, she isn't, and she has
finally found a doctor that is able to help her. Your contribution to
this campaign could help save Taylor's life. She and her family no
longer have the funds to continue paying for her treatments. This is her
last life-line, and you could be a part in saving it.</b><br />
<h3>
What We Need and What You Get</h3>
<b>
In order for Taylor to complete her treatments, we need to raise at
least $5,000. This will cover the cost of Taylor's doctor's
appointments, the 10 medications that she needs to refill at least twice
a month, and past hospital bills that her family is still paying off.
Any money that surpasses the goal will go towards further treatment (if
needed) and towards Taylor's family to help them out with their
financial struggle.</b><br />
<b> On top of saving a life and helping a
family in need</b>, <b>we're offering some exciting perks! Everything ranging
from social media shout outs, to hand written thank you letters, to
personalized coffee mugs! We want to give back to those who have given.</b><br />
<br />
<h3>
The Impact</h3>
<b>
Taylor is a sweet soul who would put her life on the line for anyone
in need. Even during this deathly sickness, she manages to keep a smile
on her face and encourage others who are struggling with just about
anything. It would be great if during this most difficult time she's
ever experienced, we could band together as a group and show her that
people care. </b><br />
<b> This is also an opportune chance to spread Lyme
awareness. The symptoms of this disease often go unnoticed or
misdiagnosed because so few people actually know what they are.
Spreading awareness could help save Taylor and others who have/are/will
suffer from this destructive disease.</b><br />
<h3>
Other Ways You Can Help</h3>
<b>
Can't contribute financially but still want to help? NEVER FEAR! You
can still help by sharing this campaign with anybody and everybody.
Friends, families, businesses, anyone can help! The more of a commotion
we can make about this the better! On behalf of everyone that has been
supporting Taylor and helping her through this hellish time, THANK YOU!
Your support will mean the world." </b><br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">To support Taylor's Fundraiser please visit: <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-fight-against-lyme-meet-taylor-brune">http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-fight-against-lyme-meet-taylor-brune</a></span></b><b><span style="font-size: large;"></span> </b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Money raised goes towards her much needed treatments! Please help if you can :)</span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Please check out Taylor's Blog: </b><b><span data-measureme="1"><span class="null"><a href="http://warriordiamond.wordpress.com/">http://warriordiamond.wordpress.com/</a> and check out her photos on </span></span></b></span><span data-measureme="1"><span class="null"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>instagram: taybug522</b></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Some words from Taylor from her Blog: "Because I have been feeling rather weak and ill it has caused me to
withdraw myself from staying actively involved in people’s lives so
today I made an effort to contact all my close friends and I hope with
snail mail I can keep going on staying in touch. It definitely gets hard
when you don’t feel well to keep in touch, but I know being a true
friend weighs much more in my heart. I am excited to say that I want to
start up a pen pal program with friends, other Lymies, etc. Anyone who
is interested basically in sending snail mail back and forth to get to
know each other as well as being encouraged through the lifetime. I am
excited to figure out how exactly I will create this. I just have such a
deep desire to get to know others on a deeper level who are
experiencing the same thing I am, and even with people who aren’t going
through this disease. I just want to do more with my life and I want to
make a difference. I really hope I figure out how to go about this.
Creating the name of the program will be the fun part hehe <span class="wp-smiley emoji emoji-smile" title=":)">:)</span> Well I am going to go do that so hope everyone has a sound sleep tonight and a blessed day tomorrow! <span class="wp-smiley emoji emoji-heart" title="<3"><3 span=""></3></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>
</b></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>xoxo Taylor"</b></span><br />
<img class="_4-od" data-reactid=".i.0.0.1.1" height="300" src="https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/v/t34.0-12/1966909_10152325268395692_164622125_n.jpg?oh=0bd6898b9fad77c8a18ae0fac551bbee&oe=53352CF9" width="400" />Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-25585723441050512012014-01-06T17:16:00.001-08:002014-01-06T17:16:35.052-08:00USA Lyme Disease Patients Protest Posters and original songs by Lyme Warriors!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/z35oeZV5N3M?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<a class="yt-uix-redirect-link" dir="ltr" href="http://worldwidelymediseaseprotest.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="http://worldwidelymediseaseprotest.blogspot.com/">http://worldwidelymediseaseprotest.bl...</a> SONG
ONE MUSICIAN AND SONG WRITERS: GUITAR BY MIKE SAUNDERS AND WRITTEN BY
JANE EAMON AND LORRAINE HART. A US Lyme Disease Awareness Video using
photos to represent the faces of Lyme Disease Survivors in the 52 states
of the USA. If you want to participate in my next video with your photo please email me at angbet35@gmail.com</div>
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<a href="http://www.alisaturner.com/">http://www.alisaturner.com/</a> Song Breathe by Alisa Turner and this is her website. You can get her songs on Itunes.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Fbkzb2UvWtc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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Song by Fornever performed by Myndsight <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Myndsight/info">https://www.facebook.com/Myndsight/info</a> You can find their songs on Itunes.</div>
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Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7001734073725541017.post-10037394436745540352014-01-06T16:33:00.001-08:002014-01-06T16:33:52.611-08:00William Shakespeakers - outbreak <br />
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<b>An amazing rap song about dealing with Lyme Disease in Norway. Yes it exists there too! Please leave comments on the Youtube page and hit the LIKE button! Give this artist some views! One of the best Lyme Disease Awareness songs out there. </b><br />
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A message from the artist: "My song about lyme disease, and the health systems which is totally neglecting the situation! Can be bought here: <a class="yt-uix-redirect-link" dir="ltr" href="http://www.joakimskeide.no/about/buy-music/outbreak/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="http://www.joakimskeide.no/about/buy-music/outbreak/">http://www.joakimskeide.no/about/buy-...</a> profits will go to lyme research! This can happen to you to!"<br />
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<b> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEUCjpOC7a4 </b><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/sEUCjpOC7a4" width="459"></iframe>Angele Ricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18201800507787815898noreply@blogger.com0